I Am French, Apparently (Or Not)

So I just found this:

From the time their children are born, French parents provide them with a firm cadre—the word means “frame” or “structure.” Children are not allowed, for example, to snack whenever they want. Mealtimes are at four specific times of the day. French children learn to wait patiently for meals, rather than eating snack foods whenever they feel like it. French babies, too, are expected to conform to limits set by parents and not by their crying selves. French parents let their babies “cry it out” if they are not sleeping through the night at the age of four months.

French parents, Druckerman observes, love their children just as much as American parents. They give them piano lessons, take them to sports practice, and encourage them to make the most of their talents. But French parents have a different philosophy of discipline. Consistently enforced limits, in the French view, make children feel safe and secure. Clear limits, they believe, actually make a child feel happier and safer—something that is congruent with my own experience as both a therapist and a parent. Finally, French parents believe that hearing the word “no” rescues children from the “tyranny of their own desires.” And spanking, when used judiciously, is not considered child abuse in France.

As a therapist who works with children, it makes perfect sense to me that French children don’t need medications to control their behavior because they learn self-control early in their lives. The children grow up in families in which the rules are well-understood, and a clear family hierarchy is firmly in place. In French families, as Druckerman describes them, parents are firmly in charge of their kids—instead of the American family style, in which the situation is all too often vice versa.

I’m not too educated on child rearing norms in foreign countries or subcultures (with perhaps the exception of the “tiger mom” phenomenon), but the methodology explained in the article strikes me as both an effective method to raise a child and what I have always felt is the correct way to raise a child. Perhaps there are negative consequences to this form of child rearing that the article doesn’t mention, and if there are, I’d love to learn; however, I don’t find fault in this whatsoever.

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2 thoughts on “I Am French, Apparently (Or Not)

  1. Pingback: The sound of us opening our eyes | Mirrorgirl

  2. Pingback: Do you open or close your eyes ? | Free psychology

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