We Need To Turn Old People Into Soylent Green

soylent_greenI’m pretty much sick and tired of the elderly in this country. You would think grandma and grandpa would be a lot less an asshole-like bunch but, as a matter of fact, they’re a bunch of selfish brats. Grandma and grandpa love their grandkids but if they weren’t dead by the time their grandkids reached their mid to late 20s, they’d probably slice their progeny’s throat out of bitter selfishness.

The elderly in the US should either be turned into soylent green, which would actually make use of these otherwise pointless bags of saggy flesh, or be put to pasture (and used as fertilizer). That, or we should really make sure they’re not entirely demented or schizophrenic before allowing them to vote.

Where is all this rage coming from? Well, I’m simply borrowing some from those nice little grandmas and grandpas who are putting a shotgun to everyone else’s head. Yes, that lovely little old lady isn’t so lovely. She treats everyone nice but then goes around and votes in the most moronic way possible.

Via Jonathan Gait, here’s Byron Tau:

Voters over 65 favored Republicans last week by a 21-point margin after flirting with Democrats in the 2006 midterm elections and favoring John McCain by a relatively narrow 8-point margin in 2008….

In the 2006 midterm campaign (regarded as a more useful basis of comparison than high-turnout presidential elections), voters 65 and older essentially split their vote evenly between Republicans and Democrats — a stark comparison with 2010. But that’s not the only noticeable change in voting patterns: In this cycle, in addition to losing the senior vote by more than 20 points, older voters also grew as a share of the overall electorate. In 2006, seniors made up 19 percent of the voting public; this year, they represented 23 percent.

You ask: Why does that matter? I mean it’s not like it means anything. Of course older people will vote conservative values!

Here’s the problem: Republicans want to rape old people. Old people are voting them into power, hoping to keep from getting raped. Republicans’ form of rape is by dismantling entitlement reform. Yes, they want to get rid of Social Security and Medicare, the very same things these rotting brains voted Republicans back into power in order to save.

“What!?” you ask?

As Matt Yglesias said:

But the question is: What about deficits matters? You often hear deficits discussed as a kind of morality play. Government should “live within its means,” whatever that means. Or else you hear conservatives—who don’t care even the slightest bit about deficits—complain about “deficits” when what they mean is “spending when a Democrat is in the White House.”

Yes, of course Republicans don’t care about deficits. Surprised? You wouldn’t be if you were honest and actually paid attention. This Ezra Klein piece, “Which party is better on the deficit? Maybe the one trying to reduce the deficit.” explains everything you need to know in order to come to the realization that Republicans don’t give a damn about deficits.

Contrast the Democrats’ health-care reform bill with the Medicare Prescription Drug Benefit, which was paid for by the deficit. Or the Bush tax cuts, which were paid for by the deficit. Or "CutGo," in which tax cuts would never have to be paid for.

McArdle has two examples of Democrats not only trying to pay for things, but making unpopular choices to pay for things. Then she’s got a bill in which Democrats decided to pay for more than the whole thing, and made a bunch of unpopular decisions to do so — decisions which Republicans are attacking mercilessly. And this is her evidence for a post which asks the question, "Which Party Is Better on the Deficit?" and finds it impossible to answer.

OK, I’ll give Republicans that: they did give old people Medicare Part D, which was and is still completely unfunded and is basically a handout to old people. Of course they’d win more votes from old people, right? That’s what happened.

What also happened is that Medicare Part D made Medicare an even bigger target than it was before. Medicare, because of Med Part D and the long-term growth of medical costs in the country, are going to lead to our bankruptcy. The whole country. Republicans are basically making Medicare so impossible to fund that we’re going to have to either reform it significantly or just get rid of it and let old people die. Right now, I’m leaning towards the latter. The only reason I’m not going all the way is that I, too, have old people I love and care about and don’t want to see drying up or eating cat food. All the other old people, though? I don’t care. Use them as fertilizer.

See, the elderly voted against Democrats because Dems tried to make cuts to a huge subsidy to insurance companies called Medicare Advantage. This is a completely overfunded, inefficient way to pay for Medicare insurance. Republicans, with the help of their media arm, Fox News, made the case that Democrats were trying to kill old people by getting rid of their Medicare when, in fact, Democrats were trying to make Medicare more cost-efficient to keep it sustainable. Republicans want to blow up Medicare to the point of unsustainability. Republicans want to love old people to death.

Me, I just want to turn them into fertilizer.

Here’s why I think old voters are dumb as rocks. Republicans keep saying we need to make cuts to entitlements. That means Social Security and Medicare. So, if old people were voting against Democrats for cutting inefficient subsidies to insurance companies, why are old people voting for people who want to cut Social Security and Medicare? Because they’re demented, schizophrenic, old people, that’s why.

Democrats want to give everyone what old people are getting. Yes, old people have paid their dues and just want to get back what they’ve funded throughout their lives. So do young people… because by the time they get old, today’s youth won’t have the Social Security and Medicare benefits our current old are getting – thanks to the inefficient overfunding of these entitlement programs by our government elite. I blame both Democrats and Republicans for this future we’re heading into for not taxing efficiently enough and leaving the problem to fester.

So, thanks, old people, for voting against your personal interests while keeping the young from theirs.

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