Unemployed? I’d Rather You Be Dead

Republicans in the Senate just couldn’t do it. They couldn’t dare ever do something that might help people in need. It’s just not in their make up. It would be completely out of character. So they make sure they don’t do anything like that.

Reid and Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.), in an effort to mollify a handful of conservative Democrats and moderate Republicans, have spent the past several weeks trimming the bill to reduce its deficit impact. But after jettisoning several provisions to help the old, the poor and the jobless, reducing the bill’s ten-year deficit impact down from $134 billion to just $33 billion, the bill is still sinking. Not a single Republican is willing to lend support and Nebraska Democrat Ben Nelson is still holding out, leaving Democrats two votes short of the 60 needed to overcome the GOP filibuster.

In other words, according to the Republicans out there: what the world needs right now is more homeless, more destitute and more starving families. The invisible hand of the market will get rid of these ineffective and inefficient gnats by taking them out of the market (hope they die!) and more resources can go to those who have been working this past six months—you know, those who didn’t quit their jobs to get on the federal dole and live off the hard work people of responsible people and their blood and sweat.

What the world needs is to experiment with people’s lives and prove, once and for all, that people on unemployment benefits during a recession simply need to get off their lazy chair and get a job. It’ll come quickly and easily and will be visible in the next month employment numbers. There is 1 job for every 6 unemployed right now.

There are now about 5.9 job seekers, on average, competing for each job opening, according to the latest Job Openings and Labor Turnover survey from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. That’s down from 6.4 the previous month — the greatest differential since the Labor Department began tracking job openings in December 2000.

It’s the first time the ratio of job seekers to jobs dipped below six to one since June of last year. While that’s a step in the right direction, it’s still a far cry from pre-recession levels.

When the recession began in December 2007 there were only 1.7 workers per opening.

So, in essence, since there were 14.8 million people out of work in February (the date of the CNN Money article), 2.46 million people should be able to find a job somewhere out there in the United States. Those lazy factory workers should simply get those jobs out there! It’s not like you need to learn the trade and get at least a two year degree before being eligible for those jobs. It’s also not like these families can’t use the life savings they’ve just spent because they’ve had no income other than unemployment to move to where these jobs are. Oh wait… never mind, let’s gloss over this fact.

I’m glad Republicans and certain nice but estranged (from the reality on the ground) economists out there who have the degrees to get one of those 2.46 million jobs are willing to sacrifice for the sake of these 14.8 million people who should just go away and die.

How fucking METAL of them. In tribute to this…

The lyrics:

I want to keep my money
And give away absolutely nothing
To the government who moderates my spending
and obliterates depending on what time of the year
brutality is near

In the form of income tax
I’d rather take a fucking axe
To my face, blow up this place
With you all in it, I’d do it in a minute

If I could write off your murder
I’d save all of my receipts
because I’d rather you be dead
than lose a tiny shred of what I made this fiscal year

I’d rather you be dead than ponder parting with my second home
I’d rather you be dead than consider not opening a restaurant
I’d rather you be dead
I’d rather you be dead

Prepare the laser-beam
I’m gonna use it tonight
Engage the laser-beam
It’s gonna end your life
I’m gonna use it tonight

If I could write off your murder
I’d save all of my receipts
because I’d rather you be dead
than lose a tiny shred of what I made this fiscal year

I’d rather you be dead than ponder parting with my second home
I’d rather you be dead than consider not opening a restaurant

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