Jesus, the Socialist Commie

Roger Ebert on Glenn Beck:

Pretty near everything Glenn Beck says strikes me as absurd, but he scored a perfect 10 when he warned his viewers against the dangers of Christianity. You already know all about it. Well, maybe not, because the usual defenders of Christianity, like James Dobson and Pat Robertson, were very quiet on the topic. Not even a peep from Pat about this man who showed every sign of having hired the best lawyers to draft his pact with Satan…

What were Beck’s unifying words? “I beg you, look for the words social justice or economic justice on your church web site,” he told his audience. “If you find it, run as fast as you can. Social justice and economic justice, they are code words. Now, am I advising people to leave their church? Yes! If you have a priest that is pushing social justice, go find another parish. Go alert your bishop and tell them, ‘Excuse me are you down with this whole social justice thing?’ If it’s my church, I’m alerting the church authorities: ‘Excuse me, what’s this social justice thing?’ And if they say, ‘yeah, we’re all in that social justice thing’–I’m in the wrong place.”

Catholicism does social justice. Most Protestant Christian sects do social justice. Buddhism and Islam do social justice, albeit in different ways. Even Glenn Beck’s own Church of Latter Day Saints, the Mormon church, does social justice.

b_cheJesus, himself, does social justice. Apparently, according to Beck, Jesus is a socialist. According to Beck, Jesus is a Communist.

“Social justice was the rallying cry–economic justice and social justice–the rallying cry on both the communist front and the fascist front.”

So what’s a patriotic, America-loving, socialist commie anti-Jesus, capitalist conservative to do? Well, re-write the Bible, of course.

Mark 10: 23-25:

23And Jesus looked round about, and saith unto his disciples, How hardly shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God!

24And the disciples were astonished at his words. But Jesus answereth again, and saith unto them, Children, how hard is it for them that trust in riches to enter into the kingdom of God!

25It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

jaysusln3However, the conservative version reads like this:

Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How unlikely it is that those who worship riches will enter the kingdom of God!” The disciples were astonished to hear this.

But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is for those who trust in riches to enter the kingdom of God! It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a man who cares only for money to enter into the kingdom of God.”

Their reasoning:

The “having” of money isn’t the problem, so much as coming to depend on that money as a God-substitute. But anyone who has money, might come to trust in it. God wants us to trust Him, money or no.

And yet Jesus meant what he said, and said what he meant.


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