Misogyny Is No Excuse For Misandry

Misogynists make blanket assessments of women all the time because of the actions of a few or their personal prejudices against women. The existence of sexism against women does not justify the existence or necessity of misandry – sexism against men- which is laughed at as if it’s inconsequential, minor or non-existent.

I had to endure the tweets from the author, Frida Ghitis, of this CNN piece asking “Are Men Stupid?” she grilled me on the validity or value of her article and pretty much gave her a taste of what this article says, taking her to task for her misandry.

A few choice quotes:

We are going to say that women have been baffled by men’s stupidity (no qualifier, no handful of guys, no out for real life heros and saints) since Biblical times? This is not going well at all.

Really, girlfriend that’s all you got? By my count that is somewhere around a dozen guys. I think there are over 3 billion men alive today. Someone a lot smarter than I am would have to calculate how many men have been alive since the Bible was written, as you are going after not just guys today but dead guys too back to the beginning of time.

So it used to be the case that all men were pigs but now that the world won’t let us get away with that our stupidity lies in our denial that we will get caught and can’t, like JFK, sleep with the secretary without consequence.

I mean I am sure I could come up with a list of a dozen very well known female gold diggers. But to try to generalize from that sample to ALL women would be silly. And frankly miss the aspirational point of what I love and admire about women, ones in my life and the ones in public life who I pay attention to.
What do you admire about Frida? Why focus on what you perceive as the stupidity of the few rather than the brilliance or courage or big-heartedness of the many?

The attitude Ghitis displays is no different than the attitude misogynists have toward women.

Sociologists argue that the phenomenon behind women who fight political fights that limit their choices and status as women – on issues like equal pay and equal health care rights- is because of the cultural quality and insidiousness of misogyny. Anti-feminists work against themselves because society expects something of them and the women who end up working against women’s rights, even at their own detriment, do it because they’ve fallen or this idea that little empowerment should be expected from women.

This same insidious nature can be found in misandry. If men are not expected to do or be better, why should they bother? You say men make tons o mistakes, as if making mistakes are solely the domain of men or men are best at that. Studies on cheating, which is what the original CNN article is about, show that women cheat as often as men since the sexual revolution and since women became more economically independent. Surely we shouldn’t start calling women out for the same things men get called out for, right? Double standards are no more justified than unfair standards some men place on women, right?

2 thoughts on “Misogyny Is No Excuse For Misandry

  1. To compare misandry from women to misogyny from men is like comparing racism against whites on the part of individual people to the systemic racism against people of colour as a collective — unlike individual interactions where you can just walk away, systemic means it is literally structured into every aspect of society. It’s calling for equal attention to be paid to grossly unequal disparities

    Yes, women who are actually misandrists are actually causing harm. But women who are misandrist have either directly experienced such significant misogyny that the mere suspicion of it is enough to send them flying off the handle against it, or they have observed other women experience so much of it that they feel a responsibility (however misguided) to fight against it to the benefit of those women who cannot do the fighting themselves.

    If you’ve experienced misogyny in the form of physical, sexual or any kind of abuse you have every right to be suspicious and angry. It’s because of suspicious and angry women who aren’t afraid to trample all over the delicate sensibilities of the men holding the tools of empowerment, that women have any rights at all.

    • You raise a straw man in your response, putting words in my mouth. Nowhere in my post did I compare misogyny and misandry as if there is any systemic misandry in society. There is casual misandry, and I recognize it as that – and I am sure you would as well – but that is the depth to which I speak of it. So I’m not sure where you are getting that I am making any comparison between misogyny and misandry as if I see them as being equal scourges in society which men and women must deal with. This being the brunt of your argument, I’m not sure if you’re responding to me, since I never made the argument you’re responding to, or to someone else.

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